Husband: She didn't see doctor to save money

Housewife dies in sleep. Husband says slimming drink made her weak

CAMERA-SHY: Youngest daughter Yock Peng holding the most recent photograph of Madam Lai, a family photograph taken last year. Her sister, Yoke Teng, said her mother had been so conscious of her weight that she did not like taking pictures.

SHE was so self-conscious about gaining 20kg a few years ago that she hardly posed for photos with her three children, aged 7 to 14.

So when a close family friend offered Madam Lai Sock Kim a weight-loss supplement to try for free, she agreed.

The side-effects appeared almost immediately.

The 35-year-old housewife, who weighed 100kg, could barely walk or eat, said relatives.

Her family said she would hallucinate often.

Though Madam Lai stopped taking the powdered supplement six months ago, the symptoms never went away.

She was often dizzy and suffered from headaches.

Her 11-year-old daughter Yoke Teng even quit school to run the household, as Madam Lai had no more strength to do housework.

GAINED WEIGHT: A less-heavy Madam Lai and as she appeared in a family photo taken last year. Two of the kids, Yoke Peng and Jin Long. TNP PICTURES: GAVIN FOO

On Saturday afternoon, Madam Lai died in her sleep in her three-room flat in Bukit Merah.

Her daughter couldn't rouse her from sleep, and called for an ambulance. Madam Lai was pronounced dead at home.

The cause of death is unknown at this point.

Madam Lai's husband, odd-job worker Lim Beng Siah, does not know the name of the weight-loss supplement.

Neither could he show us the sachets of powder, as he has handed them to the authorities, who are investigating.

All he knew was that for 25 days last November, his wife would dissolve a packet of the powdered formula into a cup of water - drinking half a cup in the morning and another half a cup at night.

Very weak

At the funeral wake at the void deck below their flat last night, Mr Lim told The New Paper in Mandarin: 'She became very weak after taking the medicine.

'I tried taking it for five days myself, and it made me so weak, I couldn't even hold a cigarette.'

However, the friend who supplied the weight-loss formula told him that the symptoms would disappear with time as their bodies get used to the supplement, Mr Lim claimed.

Mr Lim added: 'He even told me that if my wife managed to lose weight successfully, he would ask her to star in an advertisement.

'But now that this has happened, he has not even come to the funeral.'

Although the weight-loss supplement had made her so weak that she would pant after taking a few steps, Madam Lai continued to drink it every day for almost a month.

She had been so conscious of her weight, she did not like taking pictures, said Yoke Teng. She said there were no recent photos of her mother.

The most recent group picture was taken one year ago with their extended family.

Madam Lai was so weak, it was an effort to even eat her meals, said Yoke Teng and her older brother, Jin Long, 14. They have another sibling, Yoke Peng, 7.

Yoke Teng said: 'She would take a really long time to finish her meals, and she would have to eat very slowly.'

Still, Madam Lai refused to see a doctor.

Mr Lim said of his wife: 'I earn only $1,000 a month. She has always scrimped and saved, so she thought that seeing a doctor was a waste of money.

'Whenever she had any extra money, she would spend it on the children.'

Her sister-in-law, Madam Lim Lay Kheng, 40, also said that though she felt unwell, Madam Lai kept putting off her visit to the doctor because she was worried about her three children if she were to be hospitalised.

Madam Lai had suddenly ballooned from around 80kg to 100kg a few years ago, relatives at the wake told The New Paper.

According to Mr Lim, it happened after Madam Lai suffered a miscarriage four years ago but he did not want to elaborate.

All he would say was that before she started taking the medication, she was very healthy.

Her children also said that besides being obese, Madam Lai only had a skin irritation, for which she would apply cream.

However, after taking the slimming powder, Madam Lai could not even do housework.

That burden fell on Yoke Teng, who stopped going to school, partly to help out at home and partly because she didn't enjoy studying.

Yoke Teng recalled: 'My mother would sit on a stool and watch me cook in the kitchen. She would give me instructions on what to cook and how to cook it.'

She added that her mother often sat by her table in the bedroom in a daze, and sometimes suffered hallucinations.

She said that sometimes, even though they weren't talking, she would ask them whether they were talking to her. She added that it was 'frightening'.

She also recalled: 'She told me that when she closed her eyes, she would feel as though the ground was spinning.'

Madam Lai also grew fearful of sleeping, often staying up all night to chat with her son, Jin Long.

Said the student: 'Each time she came to look for me because she couldn't sleep, I was very worried about her.

'I wonder how she knew that she was going to die in her sleep.'

Xtra-Vaganza Sale

Marriage Enrichment Seminar

B血型人自恋

生辰八字、星座……血型也能透析人的性格？

去年，一本《B血型的自己说明书》推出即大卖；今年，日剧《各血型女人的结婚方法》又引发血型热谈。

本报今起推出《血型大解码》系列，为你从个性、事业、感情等几大方面，揭开4大血型的密码。

B血型的人比任何人要自恋？首先有请丹戎巴葛区议员马炎庆登场，听听他如何解读……

出门讲究衣装得体，在家被孩子们围着拥抱，丹戎巴葛区议员马炎庆不否认“自恋”。

《B书》说B血型的人自恋，而刚巧也是B血型的马炎庆，在接受本报专访时笑说，因工作需要，平时做脸部保养、出门注重衣装搭配，是形象工程的一部分，也是必要的礼仪及对他人的尊重。

在外当议员忙，没太多时间照看孩子的他，被妻子林海燕的朋友们赞是“持家的好好先生”。

马炎庆笑着说：“妻子还没这样夸过我，不过我觉得自己还蛮好的。

记者采访中发现，马炎庆的“自恋”还表现在他深信自己在3个孩子心目中的“地位”。

他说，哪怕太太当红脸、顺着孩子的心意走；他做白脸严厉管教孩子的纪律、骂孩子，甚至3儿女见他瞪眼就“心知肚明”最好别再闹，孩子们还是喜欢黏他。

“可能我平时比较少在家，所以每当我在家吃饭，孩子们都争着围坐在我身边。”

马炎庆：

与妻争执 我先‘投降’

书里说B血型的人随性，比较不喜欢受约束，我行我素也爱听好话，最容易被O型血人认同。

刚好娶O型血做太太的马炎庆笑说：“我和海燕有时难免为管教孩子起小争执，不过通常都是我先举白旗，不出两天‘投降’。”

马炎庆认为，谁都爱听好话，但自己听得出，对方说的是真心话还是恭维的客套话。

“我比较‘中庸’，很多事情不会坚持己见，有时受礼貌道义的局限，还会自愿受约束。”

李芋萱师傅：

B血型的人在性格上较属我行我素派，凭直觉判断，容易不被人理解。

他觉得不重要的约会可以迟到，觉得重要的话一定比其他人更守时。

多数B血型人很懂交际，受人欢迎，相互聊天时可以谈得欢畅，也喜欢听好话，被人赞扬。

不过，B血型的人性格落差大，兴致高时也会突然扫兴离去，显示出不愿受约束，很随性的性格。

B型人擅交际 B型艺人谈打扮

“近来我比较多穿红色、灰色和粉红色等衣，如果衬衫的纽扣很别致，我会注意到。”

——本地艺人王沺裁

“我的个性既开朗，也有忧郁的一面，很注意打扮，所以太阳眼镜是我的宠儿。”

——韩国玉女金荷娜

Life, the Way I Want It

Switch To Our Giant Brand & Save

Best Buys Under One Roof

Electrical Appliances Galore

本地歌台新红人 小邓丽君未婚先孕

歌台新红人“小邓丽君”未婚先孕，台主陈志伟是孩子的爸爸！

继“嫩草怀孕疑云”后，娱乐圈再传怀孕喜事，歌台台主陈志伟去年底与泰国妻子离婚后，与“小邓丽君”袁瑾谱恋曲，对方已怀了他的骨肉，男胎已5个月大。

两人接受本报独家专访时证实传闻，陈志伟已准备给袁瑾一个名份，计划在孩子摆满月酒时，一起注册结婚和办婚宴，庆祝三喜临门。

目前，袁瑾已经搬进位于勿洛的陈家，以准媳妇的身份，接受未来家婆的细心照料。

袁瑾也将从“女友变女助理”，协助未来老公打拼歌台事业，她已辞去在歌舞厅当歌星经理的高薪工作，全心养胎。

本报记者日前专访陈建彬，他在澄清“嫩草”没怀孕的当儿，无意间爆料说：“我的女助理绝对是没怀孕，但是歌台圈有人怀孕，她就是志伟的‘老婆’袁瑾。”

出道时人称“最年轻台主”

去年11月初，陈志伟在歌台天王林利的丧礼上，还首次介绍泰国妻子给媒体认识。因此记者听到消息后，心中难免充满疑问，便第一时间找陈志伟求证。

33岁的陈志伟是丽星舞台秀台主，出道时号称“最年轻台主”，今年新年办了30场歌台，他的歌台精心策划、格调前卫，近年来带动一股歌台热，曾参与《881》和《十二莲花》的歌台电影制作。

人美歌甜的袁瑾，曾在上海教书，10年前来狮城在语言中心当华文老师，已成为我国公民。她能唱5种语言的歌曲，包括中文、英文、日本、福建和广东歌。她去年七月初登歌台，就接满40场歌台。

Age is only a number in dating game

Women who marry younger husbands are likely to have a shorter life expectancy.

The younger their husbands are, the more likely they will live a short life, said a study released last month.

For instance, women with husbands seven to nine years younger have a 20 per cent higher chance of death, compared to women who marry men their age.

But the risk rises to 30 per cent if the age difference is 15 to 17 years.

Women my paper spoke to were not too concerned by the findings.

Freelance writer Ana Ow, 33, said: "It's not realistic that someone looks for a partner with such studies in mind. People find their life partners because of an emotional connection."

Her husband is 22 years old.

Miss Jaclyn Lam, 26, said the study would only be at the "back of my head" because there are more important factors to consider when finding her partner. "Factors like common interests and feelings for the person," said the civil servant.

The study was done by Germany-based Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research. It covered 1.9 million people aged 50 and above in Denmark from 1990 to 2005.

It also found that men with wives seven to nine years younger have a 10 per cent lower risk of death, compared to men with wives of a similar age. The risk decreases further with even younger wives.

Max Planck Institute researcher Sven Drefahl told my paper that the reasons behind the results for women are not clear as few studies have been done on them.

He noted that younger partners are generally able to provide better care for their spouses because they tend to be healthier than older partners.

This, Mr Drefahl said, could explain why men have a lower chance of dying if they have younger wives.

But he said the most probable reason for the results in men is that "unhealthy men are less likely to be able to find a younger partner attracted to them", compared to men who are healthy.

Dr Francis Ngui, a psychiatrist with Adam Road Medical Centre, said that the study's findings might suggest that when men marry younger women, there could be lifestyle changes, like switching to a healthier diet, that could make a difference to their lifespan.

"But when women marry younger men, perhaps any lifestyle changes that occur do not reduce their risks of dying as they already live longer than men in general," he said.

Why men are marrying younger women

Men have one more reason and a good one at that to marry women much younger than they are.

A recent study showed that those who marry younger women tend to live longer.

However, the reverse is true for women. Women who land themselves younger husbands have a shorter life expectancy.

The survey, by Germany-based Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research, covered 1.9 million married people, aged 50 and above, between 1990 and 2005 in Denmark.

Still, the couples and singles who spoke to my paper laughed off the findings, saying instead that love, rather than age, is what binds two persons together.

Civil servant Oliver Chia, 32, whose wife is six years younger than him, said that the study might matter to the older generation of Singaporeans as a man was often viewed as having to provide for his wife.

"So a man needed to be of a certain age and status. But I don't think it applies to my generation," he said.

Health-care professional Goh Chen Si, 30, who married a man 11 years older than her, also dismissed the findings.

"When you meet someone you are attracted to initially but do not know him or her very well, such studies might be a consideration. But once emotions are involved, it doesn't really matter what research says," she said.

Dr Tan Chue Tin, a psychiatrist at Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre here, said that the study's results for men marrying younger women "provide a statistical verification of a commonly observed phenomenon".

But young wives in such marriages could be under a lot of stress, he noted, because the qualities that attract them to older men could attract other younger women, too.