Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

Friday, July 10, 2009

ASHES ARE FOREVER

WHEN funeral director Victor Hoo shows you the diamonds, they are sparkling 1-carat babies, but you'll likely not want to touch them, thank you very much.

Click to see larger image
TNP PICTURE: NG TZE YONG

Instead, you'll probably admire them from afar with a morbid curiosity.

'Erm... so who's this guy?' you'll try asking.

In a Singapore that is growing in affluence - and ageing rapidly - a local funeral home, Singapore Funeral Services (SFS), is offering these perfect fusion of death and beauty, convinced they will catch on.

Cremate your loved ones - and instead of leaving the ashes in a hard-to-find niche in the temple - send it to a lab in Switzerland.

A few months later, welcome Grandpa home as a precious stone - complete with a certificate from the Gemological Institute of America listing his cut, carat, clarity and colour.

The service is provided by a Swiss-based company Algordanza, which was founded in 2003 and now operates in 20 countries.

A Chicago-based company, LifeGem, has been offering a similar service.

For what is believed to be the first time in Singapore, SFS is offering this service in partnership with Algordanza.

Cost will range between $6,999 for a 0.25-carat diamond and $33,999 for a 1-carat diamond.

The waiting period will range from three months to a year.

'Our society is now at a stage where we want the finer things in life - even until the last step,' said Mr Hoo.

But it's not about being extravagant, he explained. It's about moving with the times.

'Many people feel guilty when they have a tablet or an urn for their parents, because they're not sure the future generations will continue to visit it,' said Mr Hoo.

'If you have a ring, you can pass it down from generation to generation. Your loved one will be with you every minute, every second.'

Preserve memories

Many families these days also have members living in different countries, he pointed out. 'They may not be able to come back every year to pay their respects. Making a diamond helps them preserve the memories,' said Mr Hoo.

In a land-scarce Singapore, it also encourages cremation, 'in line with government policy'.

'People already associate diamonds with love and eternity. For a widow, for example, it can provide a lot of comfort,' said Mr Hoo.

Singaporeans, however, may need a bit more convincing.

'We should just let the dead rest in peace,' said 37-year-old manager Yvonne Wong.

Miss Pearl Chia, a 46-year-old manager, wonders what will happen if future generations run into financial difficulties.

'What if they pawn off Grandpa?' she asked.

But diamonds, however they come, retain their allure for some.

'I don't mind a diamond, real or otherwise,' gushed Stacey Kelly, a 20-year-old student. 'It will give family heirlom a new meaning.'

Mr Raymond Xiao, a 69-year-old retiree, doesn't mind being turned into a diamond.

'It is a good idea to recycle, so to speak,' he said.

'People will get used to the idea. Look at Bishan. It used to be a cemetery. Now, it's a HDB estate.'

Leaders from Singapore's two main religions were not keen on the idea.

Mr Lee Bock Guan, president of the Singapore Buddhist Lodge, said that 'there is nothing in Buddhism that forbids this'.

'But if you have the ring, people may not want to shake your hand. It may not be nice to wear it to someone's wedding,' he said. 'Worse still, what if you lose it?'

Rev Dr Daniel Koh, an ordained minister of the Methodist Church of Singapore, said in his personal capacity: 'It does not seem to gel with the Christian faith at all.

'It may be better to remember a loved one through the lessons they taught us. It is things like these, not diamonds, which last forever.'

Fellow undertakers also have their doubts.

'Singaporeans may feel uneasy about passing on the remains of their loves ones to strangers halfway across the world,' said Mr Roland Tay, 62, the director of Direct Singapore Funeral Services.

Mr Darren Tan, 31, the operations manager of a memorial services firm, worries that the diamonds may have a reverse effect, making it hard for mourners to find closure, especially in cases where the death occurred unexpectedly.

'I don't think it will be popular in an Asian society,' he said.


1. An average person leaves behind 2kg in ash after cremation. 500g of this is sent by air to the Swiss Alps, where the headquarters of Algordanza is located.

2. Upon arrival, the ash is marked with a serial number to prevent any mix-up.

3. The ash undergoes an analysis in the lab to determine its chemical composition.

4. Potassium and calcium, which make up 85 per cent of the ash, are extracted from the carbon using strong acids.

5. The remaining carbon is compressed into graphite under high pressure and temperature. Waste gases are generated and removed immediately.

6. A tiny diamond is added into the graphite. Crystalisation takes place around it and the diamond grows in size. The duration of the crystalisation depends on the size of the diamond desired. It can last anything from three months to a year. When the desired size is reached, the diamond introduced at the start of the process is cut off.

7. The remaining chunk of diamond is cut and polished. Engraving can be done upon request.

8. Your loved one comes home as a precious stone - accompanied by a certificate from the Gemological Institute of America listing his cut, carat, clarity and colour.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

私人公寓泳池旁互摸 男女被炮轰


情侣在公寓游泳池旁亲热互摸,遭居民炮轰不检点。

情侣在公寓游泳池旁亲热互摸,女生还骑在男友身上,遭居民炮轰不检点!

这起事件发生在上星期六下午,地点是兀兰一栋公寓的游泳池边。

公寓居民史丹目睹这对男女不顾及别人的眼光,在大庭广众下亲热,立即拍下两人的照片,上载到STOMP网站。

据他提供的照片,这对男女相当年轻,男的光着上身,穿着一件花裤,戴着墨镜很攸闲地躺在椅子上。女生皮肤白皙,戴着一个红色发箍,同样戴着墨镜,很忘我地坐在男友身上。

丹尼形容,这对男女不但互摸,女生整个人还骑在男生身上。“泳池里有很多小孩在水中嬉戏,他们不应该当众作出如此举动。”

他说,女生过后还拿出一根香烟,在椅子上吞云吐雾。这时,男的突然潜进泳池里,差点撞到一名小妹妹,过后还向小妹妹扮鬼脸。

史丹还发现,另一对拿着电单车头盔的情侣,不久后也“加入阵营”。

“男生竟然躲在椅子后面换裤,毛巾半途掉了下来,顿时看到他裸露的一幕,可是我来不及拍照。这简直就是猥亵裸露,他为什么不到附近的更衣室换呢?”

Saturday, July 4, 2009

46岁主炒摊女老板 与20岁小情郎私奔

46岁已婚煮炒摊女老板,声称无法忍受苦日子,为20来岁小情郎抛夫弃子,离家出走,为爱私奔。

女老板的丈夫陈先生(41岁)昨天向记者诉说了让他难以接受的家变故事。

陈先生说,妻子在本月1日正式搬走,他为妻子的离开而感到伤心欲绝,目前得看心理医生、接受辅导。

“每当我闭上眼睛,便会浮现出妻子的容貌。”

陈先生和妻子结婚18年,婚后生下4个孩子。他原是个菜贩,后来生意失败宣告破产,妻子一年半前,在东部一咖啡店顶下一个煮炒摊让他当头手,自己则在摊位里帮忙。

为让家人的生活好过一些,陈先生在煮炒摊收摊后,又到酒廊当待应生。

但是,大约1个月前,陈先生发现妻子常半夜失踪,还以去买菜和回娘家过夜为借口不回家。

“上月28日,晚上11时收摊后,逢酒廊休息日,我建议和妻子一同回家,她却声称必须漏夜到娘家签一份紧急文件,会在那里睡一晚。”

陈先生心下起疑,隔天早上拨电至岳母家探听。

“家人告诉我,她从没回娘家过夜,也没紧急文件需处理。我这恍然大悟,发现妻子可能有婚外情。”

陈先生立刻拨电质问妻子,妻子坦然承认,2年前认识一个20多岁的男子,已同居半年。

“她告诉我,已厌倦婚姻生活和捱苦的日子,想恢复单身,和小情人过二人世界,不想再为孩子和生活忧心。”

陈先生在电话里哀求妻子回头求了3小时,妻子却坚持离开,并在两天后搬走。“她也说愿意让4名孩子跟着我,好让我老了以后,有孩子陪伴。”
4儿哭声 留不住她

陈先生说,妻子仅丢下“爱情是盲目的”一句话,甚至请求孩子成全她,与小情人私奔而去。

虽然4名孩子轮流哀求母亲回家,但已婚妇只说:“虽然我很爱你们,但我想要自由,请成全妈妈吧。”

陈先生表示,他现在什么也不想,依然会打两份工、努力赚钱,抚养孩子成人。

“她说,和我一起熬了18年,依然得为生意和家务事两头忙,但还是无法过好日子。她无法再过这种生活,所以决定恢复单身的日子;赚钱自己花,也不必为孩子操心。”

放弃煮炒摊 让夫续经营

妻子搬家后,立即更换手机号码,以致陈先生无法联系她。

陈先生表示,他现在的心情很复杂,虽然不能接受妻子红杏出墙的事实,不过他依然盼望妻子回家。

“现在我没办法联络她,所以没有办法讨论离婚的事宜。她想和小男友过二人世界,但又不离婚,让我觉得十分矛盾。”

陈先生说,妻子表示,什么都不要了,煮炒摊虽还在她名下,可是可以让他继续经营。
投奔小男友在外租房子

据知,已婚妇和小情人在外租房子住,栖身之处成谜。

其实,已婚妇在过去的一年,已经开始慢慢地收拾衣物,偷偷地搬到小男友的家中。

“她曾经告诉我,她是在深夜到外丢垃圾后,再到邻里走走。其实,所谓的垃圾就是她的衣物,她带出去后,便到小男友的家里过夜。”

陈先生说,虽然夫妻俩经常为小事起争执,但感情却没决裂。

两男为1女 当街大打出手

看网友上载事件影像 >点击到《公民记者》

一名男子同妻子当街激烈争吵,过后还同妻子的男性朋友大打出手。

网友小老鼠在omy网站上载了一段两男一女谈判的录像。

录像显示,一名长发已婚妇和一名穿着深色衣服、戴了眼镜的男子站在走道上谈判,另外一名身穿粉红上衣和白色极膝裤的男子,则靠着走道旁边的灯柱观望。

从画面中看不出那是在本地的什么地点。

根据拍摄录像的网友NissanS15所说,长发已婚妇和眼镜男是一对夫妇,该名粉色上衣男子相信是已婚妇的朋友。这三个人看起来像中年人。

画面显示,该对夫妇谈着谈着,站在一旁的男性朋友可能是听到两人的对话后被激怒,竟然冲到他们的面前要打那名丈夫。

两名男子扭打成一团,非常激烈。

已婚妇的男性朋友用胳膊按着她的丈夫,要掐他。已婚妇的丈夫的眼镜还被抛飞。

两人扭打的过程,遭人全程拍下放了上网。

上前要劝架 女子被撞倒

两名男子扭打成一团时,该名已婚妇试图制止两人打架,反而被推倒在地上。

画面显示,已婚妇过后从地上爬起来,不断地要拉开丈夫,不让他和男友继续打架。

幸好,他们俩打了大约半分钟后,该名已婚妇终于成功地分开两个人,并要求男友站到一旁。只见到该男友生气地回到灯柱旁边站着,已婚妇和丈夫则继续谈判。

已婚妇的丈夫似乎被已婚妇劝服,情绪似乎安抚下来。录像持续了大约5分钟结束,画面停止之前,已婚妇仍然和丈夫在交涉。

红透网络 18万人点击

这则两男一女争吵的录像引起大批网友点击,自放上网到现在,有18万1504名网友看过录像。

大部分的网友猜测,该名已婚妇是引起两男打架的罪魁祸首。

网友猜测,该名已婚妇可能搞外遇,被丈夫揭发后,不知道如何处理,结果造成丈夫和男友大打出手。

Thursday, July 2, 2009

DAD: MY TEEN IS TOO YOUNG

DAUGHTER. 14. HAS SEX WITH BOYFRIEND, 17, DESPITE POLICE REPORTS AGAINST HIM

IT WAS bad enough for this father to find out that his 14-year-old girl had been having sex regularly.

Click to see larger image
TNP, ST FILE PICTURES

But things got worse.

Even after making a police report and repeatedly warning his daughter's boyfriend, the sexual trysts continued right under his nose.

It all started when the father, David, found out that his daughter had sex with a 17-year-old polytechnic student last November.

The young couple have been together for over a year.

He hit the roof when he found out about it in January.

To protect the identity of the daughter, we are not giving the real names of those involved.

Click to see larger image

When David, who is in his 40s, first wanted to report the boyfriend to the police, he decided against it to give the boy one more chance.

In the eyes of the law, girls aged between 12 and 14 are considered victims of statutory rape. Cases involving girls below the age of 12 are investigated as rape.

The boy could have been jailed up to 10 years or fined if he had been convicted.

There have been several such cases in the last few months. (See report on facing page.)

David said that he immediately called the couple for a talk when he found out about their trysts.

He said: 'I sat both of them down and told the boy that my daughter is still young and can't make decisions (about sexual relationships).

'I also told him that he's still studying, has no job and can't take care of my daughter. I said I will give him a second chance by not going to the police.'

Jealousy

David said that the boy apologised and promised not to see his daughter anymore. David even informed the boy's parents and told them to control their son.

He said that he would never have found out their secret if not for the jealousy of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend had called David this January and warned him that his daughter was also seeing someone else and that 'they could be doing it'.

David got worried and told him that he'll be sending his daughter for a medical checkup.

He said: 'I also warned him that if I did that, I might also be able to find out if my daughter had sex with him. That was when he confessed and said that he had sex with my daughter last November.'

After that warning, David sent his daughter (now in Secondary 3) to school every day, while his wife took time off daily from work to fetch her home in the afternoon.

David said he tried talking to his daughter but she was non-communicative and didn't want to talk about her relationship with the boyfriend.

Their precautions came to naught.

Their daughter continued to keep in contact with her boyfriend secretly, and even skipped lessons to meet him.

David found out that she had sex again with the boyfriend in January after reading an SMS on her handphone that she had sent to the boyfriend.

Her message said that she was guilty about having sex again and wondered if she could be pregnant. Furious, David made a police report against the boy that month.

He said: 'We're under tremendous stress having to make a living and to guard her. We are very concerned that our daughter might end up pregnant or even get Aids.'

Then something else happened. In February this year, his daughter jumped down from the second floor of their condo and fractured both her arms.

Said David: 'We had locked the main door to prevent her from leaving the house but we didn't know she'd jump out of her bedroom window.

'And even with her fractured arms, she still managed to go to her boyfriend's place.'

The daughter spent two weeks in hospital for her fractured arms and also received psychological help.

The boy, however, was let off with a police warning in March.

Helpless

But even after that police warning, the couple continued to have sex, which infuriated David even more.

He found out from his daughter's blog that the couple had sex again in May this year.

He said: 'I had already warned the guy and reported him to the police. He was let off with a warning but now, he's still having sex with my daughter.

'As a parent, I am really helpless. What can I do? I can't imprison my daughter.'

He said that while his daughter has shown signs of improvement and even wrote an apology letter to her mother, it is still too early to conclude that the problem is over.

David said that he has since made another police report in May. The police said that investigations are ongoing and it's inappropriate to comment at this time.

Former deputy public prosecutor Tan Hee Joek said that generally, the factors that could've been considered on whether to charge the accused would be the age of the accused and the relationship between the accused and the victim.

Mr Tan, now in private practice at Tan See Swan & Co, explained: 'The age of the accused is very important. It would tell you roughly if the victim was taken advantage of by someone older who preys on younger girls.

'But if both of them are teenagers and they do have a close boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, then that would be taken into consideration.'

In such cases, it's not unusual that the accused is let off with a stern warning first, he said.

Said Mr Tan: 'If it happens again, then the authorities might take more serious action against the offender. You can't keep on giving warnings. For the first time, the accused may claim that he didn't know it's serious.

'But after being warned, he can't rely on that as mitigation, especially when he has ignored the warning blatantly.'

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

本地调查:67%男子不介意与高薪女交往


67%的本地男性不介意与薪水较高的女性交往!

相对的,53%的本地女性排斥与收入比自己低的男性交往。

这项由本地红娘公司Lunch Actually针对本地、香港及马来西亚共600名单身男女进行的调查显示,本地女性比男性较重视另一半的经济能力及学历。

本地男性则较注重外表,并不会因为女性的学历与收入优势而排斥与她们交往。

马来西亚和香港的男性也很愿意与高学历、高收入的女性交往。在香港,不介意另一半收入较高的男性多达78%。

参与调查的男女表示,他们之所以仍然单身,是因为还没有遇到想要交往的对象。

Lunch Actually创办人林笑岏解释说:“许多男女都向往,能够在偶然的情况下,遇见心仪的对象,缺少主动寻找爱情的动力。这或许是因为电影中的男女主角通常都是在街上偶然相遇的,让人们对这样的机遇产生期望。”

林笑岏说,在现实生活中,要偶然遇见心仪的对象是相当困难的,单身人士应该主动寻找另一半。

在参与调查的三个国家当中,本地男女最常参与为单身人士举办的活动以及网上交友,但是,只有48%的国人选择通过自我提升让自己更具吸引力,这比香港的60%逊色许多。

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

本地歌台新红人 小邓丽君未婚先孕


歌台新红人“小邓丽君”未婚先孕,台主陈志伟是孩子的爸爸!

继“嫩草怀孕疑云”后,娱乐圈再传怀孕喜事,歌台台主陈志伟去年底与泰国妻子离婚后,与“小邓丽君”袁瑾谱恋曲,对方已怀了他的骨肉,男胎已5个月大。

两人接受本报独家专访时证实传闻,陈志伟已准备给袁瑾一个名份,计划在孩子摆满月酒时,一起注册结婚和办婚宴,庆祝三喜临门。

目前,袁瑾已经搬进位于勿洛的陈家,以准媳妇的身份,接受未来家婆的细心照料。

袁瑾也将从“女友变女助理”,协助未来老公打拼歌台事业,她已辞去在歌舞厅当歌星经理的高薪工作,全心养胎。

本报记者日前专访陈建彬,他在澄清“嫩草”没怀孕的当儿,无意间爆料说:“我的女助理绝对是没怀孕,但是歌台圈有人怀孕,她就是志伟的‘老婆’袁瑾。”

出道时人称“最年轻台主”

去年11月初,陈志伟在歌台天王林利的丧礼上,还首次介绍泰国妻子给媒体认识。因此记者听到消息后,心中难免充满疑问,便第一时间找陈志伟求证。

33岁的陈志伟是丽星舞台秀台主,出道时号称“最年轻台主”,今年新年办了30场歌台,他的歌台精心策划、格调前卫,近年来带动一股歌台热,曾参与《881》和《十二莲花》的歌台电影制作。

人美歌甜的袁瑾,曾在上海教书,10年前来狮城在语言中心当华文老师,已成为我国公民。她能唱5种语言的歌曲,包括中文、英文、日本、福建和广东歌。她去年七月初登歌台,就接满40场歌台。

Age is only a number in dating game


Women who marry younger husbands are likely to have a shorter life expectancy.

The younger their husbands are, the more likely they will live a short life, said a study released last month.

For instance, women with husbands seven to nine years younger have a 20 per cent higher chance of death, compared to women who marry men their age.

But the risk rises to 30 per cent if the age difference is 15 to 17 years.

Women my paper spoke to were not too concerned by the findings.

Freelance writer Ana Ow, 33, said: "It's not realistic that someone looks for a partner with such studies in mind. People find their life partners because of an emotional connection."

Her husband is 22 years old.

Miss Jaclyn Lam, 26, said the study would only be at the "back of my head" because there are more important factors to consider when finding her partner. "Factors like common interests and feelings for the person," said the civil servant.

The study was done by Germany-based Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research. It covered 1.9 million people aged 50 and above in Denmark from 1990 to 2005.

It also found that men with wives seven to nine years younger have a 10 per cent lower risk of death, compared to men with wives of a similar age. The risk decreases further with even younger wives.

Max Planck Institute researcher Sven Drefahl told my paper that the reasons behind the results for women are not clear as few studies have been done on them.

He noted that younger partners are generally able to provide better care for their spouses because they tend to be healthier than older partners.

This, Mr Drefahl said, could explain why men have a lower chance of dying if they have younger wives.

But he said the most probable reason for the results in men is that "unhealthy men are less likely to be able to find a younger partner attracted to them", compared to men who are healthy.

Dr Francis Ngui, a psychiatrist with Adam Road Medical Centre, said that the study's findings might suggest that when men marry younger women, there could be lifestyle changes, like switching to a healthier diet, that could make a difference to their lifespan.

"But when women marry younger men, perhaps any lifestyle changes that occur do not reduce their risks of dying as they already live longer than men in general," he said.